I was at a party on New Years Eve, a really fun party. I needed it! But that's beside the point.
I met a lot of new people at this party. I always enjoy meeting new people, introducing the me that they will know without preconceived notions.
I was talking to this one girl about life in general when she started talking about her son's stepmom. Instantly, I was on edge. She had no idea that I am a stepmom, that we have a high-conflict situation or, really, anything about my life. But, to my shock, she was raving about her ex's girlfriend.
"Oh, I just love her. She's great. And I want my son to have a close relationship with his siblings, so we communicate really well."
What the what? I couldn't believe what I was hearing. A mom who loves her kid's stepmom? And always has? I was so encouraged that I had to learn more.
"Well, she just had a baby and my son is really excited to be a big brother. And a little brother. She has two older kids too."
"Oh, he's close with his stepsiblings?" I ask. "That's great!"
"Oh, they aren't his stepsiblings. They are his half-siblings."
What?
"I was the other woman. He was cheating on her with me and I got pregnant. Then he got back with her and they had another baby."
I thought I had finally met a pioneer in the mom/stepmom relationship field.
But, not really.
I'm still encouraged that she models a positive relationship with her son's stepmom, but I can't help but think that some of that might have to do with being a cheat-ee. There's a level of guilt there, and maybe even a level of pride, that changes the situation a bit. Plus, she never told me how the stepmom felt about her. When I got around that that question, she was suddenly distracted by a big plate of cookies.
Thoughts?
Oh, and Happy 2011!!!
10 comments:
Well, that is certainly a unique soap-opera-ish situation. I'm surprised she explained it to you and admitted the truth, but maybe she's okay with her (and her Ex's) past infidelities. Regardless, it's great that she embraces her son's relationship with his stepmom. It's too bad more biomoms can't be like that.
Wow I thought you had found a well gem there with a bio-mom not hating a stepmom. Talk about disappointing! That changes things for sure, but at least they can all get along it seems for the kids. I cannot even imagine being the other woman, what a weird situation! Happy New Year to you, hoping 2011 treats you better!
HMMMM.. hard to say, on one hand I would think the step mom would not be too keen on her, on the other hand she took the cheating Father back.
I would worry about the cheat-ee situation but definitely a unique situation. Interesting that the plate of cookies was all of a sudden very interesting.
Happy 2011!
Talk about drama. Yikes.
Still, she could be a bitter pain in the butt anyway so it's good that she is being polite. It sounds like the wife is also being polite so here's to the wife! She's taking the higher road for sure.
@ Sharon - she was positively proud of being the other woman...practically bragging about it. I wouldn't say she is a "normal" person; in fact, I spent most of the conversation trying to get away from her. It just struck me as *so* ironic that I had finally met someone who wasn't judgmental of stepmoms, only to find out she's straight out of a Jerry Springer episode!
That's kind of like seeing there's one tasty chocolate left in the box but there's a pubic hair on it.
What a convoluted situation!
Sadly, I think there's probably a connection between the fact that she doesn't hate stepmoms and the fact that she is proud of being the other woman. Something there just isn't clicking correctly.
Wow is all I can say to the post. But I must also add that Chickie, I will never forget your chocolate box analogy.
Wow, that's not a situation you hear everyday. It's interesting though. I wonder if that is something common with other mom's like her. I don't know what Jane thinks of me. I know she's full of a lot of hatred, but I've always kept my distance from her so I'm never sure what she thinks of me. It's also helpful though that I don't care what she thinks of me. :)
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