A List

I feel like I have a million things to say but I can't seem to organize them. I figured I'd try a list, in no particular order.
1. The Ex is pregnant. She is eight years older than me and a shitty, shitty person and a terrible mother. Her husband smokes a pack a day and looks like a pedophile. So of course, she immediately gets pregnant with a healthy baby while I continue to miscarry. I won't tell you the things I said when I found out; they are pretty horrible.
2. The Kid is not thrilled with the new pregnancy. "They're just treating me so different," he says. He lives with us again. *sigh* And of course, now that The Ex is starting her "new family" she doesn't give a crap about the kid she already has. She doesn't even care if he visits on weekends.
3. The Husband and I are never going to get pregnant again with a teenager living with us. I miss privacy!
4. I had another brief pregnancy in November. It only lasted a week after I found out. I prefer that type of miscarriage to the three month kind, but it still sucks.
5. Due to results of the Celiac antibody panel (which I begged my doctor for), I am now gluten free. The first week was horrible but now I feel great. But I do miss beer. A lot.
6. At this current point in my life, I am the most sad I have ever felt. I cry every. single. day. I am everything 20-year-old me said I'd never be. Most of the time I can't stand my husband, who is never home due to his work schedule anyway. So I'm stuck taking care of his kid, whose mother doesn't want him anymore because she's gestating new spawn. No amount of yoga or meditation seems to help me let it go. I hate my job. The only things that make me smile are my dogs. I'm at a loss for what to do to get myself back on track again.
7. Oh yeah, dogs. Plural. We adopted another dog in September, shortly after Big Dog died. She was abandoned by her previous family (like, literally tied to a tree when they moved away), so she has some "issues" but overall has been a great addition to our household. Girl Dog and Little Dog are best friends and keep me pretty busy. I have officially become a crazy dog lady, and may or may not have dressed them in Santa and Mrs. Claus suits last month. Note to fellow infertiles: get a dog, if you can. It really, really helps.

So there you have it: a list. It's a bit squirrelly and not really complete, but I don't know where to put the things in my head lately so here they go.