Hello Fall

Our weekend away was a success! We had spectacular weather and really enjoyed time together as a family.
It amazes me, though, at how The Kid needs to be stimulated at all times of the day. Naturally, the car ride was torture for him. Granted, our car is a small-ish vehicle. Pretty soon, it will be unbearable to take family trips in it. But, he forgot his PSP and his iPod died halfway through. Then, just outside of the city, the car broke down. It was an easy enough fix once we got to an auto parts store, but it set our travel time back by about an hour and a half. I wish I sound sound bytes of the sighs and grunts coming from the back seat. We are such mean parents, forcing him to sit in a car for 3 hours!
As soon as we got up north, I was barraged with questions of, "What are we going to do now?" Before we were even finished with one activity, he was asking that same question again. Do kids nowadays not know how to enjoy down time? Needless to say, The Husband and I didn't relax much. What ever happened to sitting by the pool?! Seriously, he didn't want to hang out by the pool! He would go, jump in, swim around for 5 minutes then say, "Okay lets go, what are we going to do now?"
As soon as we got back to our hotel room, the TV went on and stayed on pretty much all night because he can't sleep without it (I would think the TV would keep him up with all the flashing? And he sleeps fine at our house, and we don't have TV).
Don't get me wrong, we had a great time. I haven't seen The Kid smile that much in a looooog time. But are your kids like this? Do they constantly need to be stimulated by something? I can't stand it!
Overall, we only had three teenage meltdowns. One one the way there (see above), one one the way home (the car was too hot, too uncomfortable, too long of a ride etc.) and one at dinner one night. We went to my favorite restaurant in the area, lucked out with no wait, ordered drinks and then The Kid said, "I'm homesick." It was the first night we were there. We had been in the state all of 6 hours. The Husband and I just stared at him. Then The Husband, who tends to be a little hard on The Kid (who is very spoiled on his mother's side) launched into a "do you know how much money we are spending on you this weekend? we just got here! that is ungrateful!" tirade until The Kid's eyes filled with tears. Moments later, they stepped outside where The Kid admitted that particular restaurant reminded him of a place his grandfather used to take him back home. He hasn't seen or talked to his grandfather in two years as his grandparents are going through an extremely messy divorce. He misses him, but is angry and so won't admit that he misses him. What I don't understand about the situation is that we take him to the actual restaurant Grandpa used to take him once a month, and have been for years. He's never said a word or been bothered by going there. Then we go to a completely different restaurant in a completely different state and he freaks out? Oh the hormones. That night, we ended up leaving the restaurant, getting take out and heading back to the hotel. We ate on the floor while watching the History Channel.
The Kid told me he had a great time and everything he did that weekend was awesome. The Husband and I set rules not to talk about money or anything that stresses us out and just have fun. And so we did. It was a great end to the summer and put us all in a good place to move forward into fall. Boy, am I ready for the change in season.

Doomsday

I intended to write a week of posts about our relationship, our wedding, our first anniversary ect. ect. ect. Ha! Life has a funny way of dashing the best laid plans doesn't it? I never finished any of the posts I wrote except this one, so here goes.

The weekend after we were married, we had an epic BBQ in our backyard to celebrate. This was for friends and family who didn't come to the actual ceremony as well as those who came. The local bar my husband works for gave us a few kegs of great beer, we bought enough food to feed a circus (and we did...), my husband's band played and, generally, we had a great time. The cops only came twice! As a party favor, we gave everyone a CD of songs that reminded us of each other. There is a story behind each and every one of these songs. Our friends either make fun of us for our musical inclinations or tell us they listen to it all the time and think of us.

Without further adieu, I give you Doomsday (yeah...that's we we called our wedding...)

Day is Done - John Prine
Big Little Baby - Reverend Horton Heat
Picture in a Frame - Tom Waits
Cowgirl in the Sand - Neil Young
I Don't Want to Set the World on Fire - The Ink Spots
No Quarter - Led Zeppelin
Add It Up - The Violent Femmes
Close to Me - The Cure
Our House - Crosby, Stills & Nash
Ripple - Grateful Dead
Golden Slumbers/Carry That Weight - The Beatles
Ant Farm - The Eels
Whole Wide Word - Wreckless Eric


Yes, we are dorks.

Major dorks.

Consider this your party favor ;)

Oh. Em. Gee. John Prine is playing the Newport Folk Festival! Anyone else going? See you there!

O Tannebaum

Last night, we decorated our Christmas tree. We usually pick out our tree with The Kid but this year he was acting like, well, a teenager and didn't want to come. So, The Husband and I picked it out ourselves. We always put the lights and garland on, but wait until The Kid is over to hang the ornaments.
After dinner, I tried to get everyone into the Christmas spirit so we could decorate. I cued up the holiday music, I poured the egg nog and I lit the cinnamon-scented candles. But the only being who seemed to catch on to my enthusiasm was the dog. The Kid was furiously trying to earn achievements on his xBox profile and wants nothing to do with "that corny stuff." The Husband had work to do in the garage (he lost his job the day after we were married, so moneywise we're really stressed right now and take any and all sidework he is offered).
So, our first Christmas as a married couple, as an official stepfamily, and I find myself decorating the tree alone. This, of course, leads me to spike the egg nog.
As I sat in the front room unwrapping our ornaments, I was flooded with memories. The first group of ornaments I unwrapped were the ones from our first Christmas living together - 5 years ago. We really had no money then and it was a stretch even to get a tree. My then-boyfriend, Clark Griswold , picked out the biggest tree at the farm; it barely fit in our tiny apartment. We found some mismatched lights and tinsel and went to town. But, we had no ornaments. I had never had a tree since living on my own and he had hardly anything Christmas-y left after the divorce, so collectively we had nothing. What to do? Lucky for us, we live near the beach. I spent an afternoon braving the frigid wind to collect seashells. We then scraped together $3.87 and bought some gold spray paint. And voila:

Our first Christmas "living in sin" saw our hodge-podge tree decorated with handmade seashell ornaments, random strings of lights and sparse clumps of tinsel. But I remembered so much more than that Christmas with these ornaments. I remembered looking for months for an apartment with a second bedroom, for The Kid, that was in our price range. I remembered having CPS inspect our apartment and writing a report saying it was a safe environment, only to have The Ex deny his visits unless she walked through herself. I remembered letting my boyfriend cry on my shoulder because he missed his son so much. I remembered finally making some headway in court, only to have to leave the house every time The Kid came over.
I found many, many more ornaments that brought back many other memories of people I love and places I've been. The rum in my drink probably caused me to dwell longer than normal on each and every bauble.
One of the last ornaments I unwrapped was this one:

This was given to me last year by The Kid. It was the first Christmas present he ever gave me. I know it wasn't easy for him to get me a present. He either had to ask his mom to buy it, or he had to buy it on the sly with his own money. Whatever the method, he didn't want me to be forgotten and he made sure he acknowledged me. He may never know it but it means the world to me.
I hung on one of the topmost boughs, right next to one of my seashells. What a reminder of how far we've come. 5 years ago we celebrated amidst heartbreak. This year, I'm decorating the tree while The Kid swears at his video game in the next room, comfortable in our home and happy that we are a family.
As I was wrapping up the decorating session, my husband joined me. And slowly, but surely, The Kid pried himself away from the TV. What started off as a sort-of lonely task ended on a bright note. We cheerfully put the finishing touches on this year's tannenbaum, together, as a family.

And the tree looks great, ifIdosaysomyself!

Yes, marriage is hard. Yes, marriage to a man with kids is probably harder. But its moments like this, moments that make you look back on your beautiful (tumultuous, triumphant, treasured) history, however long or short, that make it worthwhile. I look forward to Christmas in another 5, 10, 25 years when I have even more ornaments to unwrap and even more memories to cherish.


*pardon the photo quality; all I had at my disposal was my phone