Hello Fall

Our weekend away was a success! We had spectacular weather and really enjoyed time together as a family.
It amazes me, though, at how The Kid needs to be stimulated at all times of the day. Naturally, the car ride was torture for him. Granted, our car is a small-ish vehicle. Pretty soon, it will be unbearable to take family trips in it. But, he forgot his PSP and his iPod died halfway through. Then, just outside of the city, the car broke down. It was an easy enough fix once we got to an auto parts store, but it set our travel time back by about an hour and a half. I wish I sound sound bytes of the sighs and grunts coming from the back seat. We are such mean parents, forcing him to sit in a car for 3 hours!
As soon as we got up north, I was barraged with questions of, "What are we going to do now?" Before we were even finished with one activity, he was asking that same question again. Do kids nowadays not know how to enjoy down time? Needless to say, The Husband and I didn't relax much. What ever happened to sitting by the pool?! Seriously, he didn't want to hang out by the pool! He would go, jump in, swim around for 5 minutes then say, "Okay lets go, what are we going to do now?"
As soon as we got back to our hotel room, the TV went on and stayed on pretty much all night because he can't sleep without it (I would think the TV would keep him up with all the flashing? And he sleeps fine at our house, and we don't have TV).
Don't get me wrong, we had a great time. I haven't seen The Kid smile that much in a looooog time. But are your kids like this? Do they constantly need to be stimulated by something? I can't stand it!
Overall, we only had three teenage meltdowns. One one the way there (see above), one one the way home (the car was too hot, too uncomfortable, too long of a ride etc.) and one at dinner one night. We went to my favorite restaurant in the area, lucked out with no wait, ordered drinks and then The Kid said, "I'm homesick." It was the first night we were there. We had been in the state all of 6 hours. The Husband and I just stared at him. Then The Husband, who tends to be a little hard on The Kid (who is very spoiled on his mother's side) launched into a "do you know how much money we are spending on you this weekend? we just got here! that is ungrateful!" tirade until The Kid's eyes filled with tears. Moments later, they stepped outside where The Kid admitted that particular restaurant reminded him of a place his grandfather used to take him back home. He hasn't seen or talked to his grandfather in two years as his grandparents are going through an extremely messy divorce. He misses him, but is angry and so won't admit that he misses him. What I don't understand about the situation is that we take him to the actual restaurant Grandpa used to take him once a month, and have been for years. He's never said a word or been bothered by going there. Then we go to a completely different restaurant in a completely different state and he freaks out? Oh the hormones. That night, we ended up leaving the restaurant, getting take out and heading back to the hotel. We ate on the floor while watching the History Channel.
The Kid told me he had a great time and everything he did that weekend was awesome. The Husband and I set rules not to talk about money or anything that stresses us out and just have fun. And so we did. It was a great end to the summer and put us all in a good place to move forward into fall. Boy, am I ready for the change in season.

What Happens in Vegas

Posts will be few and far between this week....

...because I will be blinded by neon and drinking my worries away in "the meanest town on Earth."


If you follow me on Twitter, I will likely be updating with some of my misadventures.

And So It Begins

Last year, for The Kid's birthday, we took him Up North for a weekend. It was his first time Up North. We took him snowboarding and did lots of fun things. Since August, he has been asking if we were going to go Up North for his birthday again, and we promised we would.
We took him this past weekend. And this past weekend The Kid decided to start acting like a teenager. The Husband and I were so excited because we were surprising him with a really fun hotel, and some fun activities. Well, the normal 4 hour drive to get there took us more than 6. We got to the hotel very late on Friday night (because, on top of the traffic, getting the kid to put down his video game remote and leave the house was like pulling teeth).
The next morning, The Kid asked if we were going snowboarding. Last year, we brought him snowboarding for the first time. He hated it and ended up playing in the snow mounds in the parking lot for hours. I agreed to play with him while The Husband boarded for the afternoon. $300 wasted to play in a parking lot. So this year, I decided not to spend the money. Well, Mr. I'm13Now was pissed because he told all his friends he was going snowboarding and now he wasn't. He pitched a fit and insisted he liked boarding and wanted to go. I offered that he could use the birthday money we were giving him to buy a lift ticket and use his own money for rentals if he really wanted to board; he sulked and denied the offer.
He ended up having a mostly fun day Saturday and enjoying the surprise activities we had planned. But Sunday, folks, was a nightmare.
Our plan was to get a decent breakfast and begin the trek home, stopping at a few shops along the way (shops, mind you, that were of extreme interest to The Kid).
"I don't care if you're hungry. I don't want breakfast. Can't we just go home?" "Gimme your iPhone. I'm so friggin' bored I need something to do."
[at shop] "Here's the stuff I want you to buy me. I'll be waiting in the car." "Why did you drink that whole bottle of water if you knew we were driving? Now we have to stop just so you can pee. This is ridiculous."
Most of this I attributed to normal teenage behavior. Yes, it was annoying but not particularly out of character for a 13-year-old.
Until...
Until we stopped at a rest stop so The Husband could relieve himself. The Kid and I were waiting in the car and he was telling me how he couldn't wait to get home and play his video game.
"I want to get this modification for it as soon as we get home. Can I get it?" he asked.
"Depends. How much of your birthday money is left over?" I replied.
"$2.03" he answered. "But the mod is $8.00"
"Well, I used up all our extra money this weekend. I don't have enough money in that account for the mod. So I guess you can't get it."
"Well then you better go to the bank and put some money in so I can get it. I would have rather stayed home and played games than come here anyway," he said with the utmost I-am-entitled-to-whatever-I-want attitude.
Oh yes, he did. He demanded that I go deposit money into one of my bank account expressly for his entertainment.
This is about the time my head exploded. Or nearly. You see, to take him away for this weekend cost me nearly $1,000. And money is hard to come by in our house. My husband is not working, and this is not by choice. He does not receive unemployment. I'm trying to run a household on my (very average) salary alone. I took on a second part-time job to help out. I used every scrap of money I got for Christmas to pay for this weekend. I canceled dinner plans to save money. I put off buying myself a new pair of glasses (my prescription is out of date, but I hardly wear them so I figured I could wait). I really want a new camera lens, but I wanted our family to have this fun memory even more. I worked really hard not to let him down.
I tried not to get angry. I tried not to take it (too) personally. But I was fighting back tears. I really, truly went out of my way to make this weeknend happen. For him.
I whipped around, facing him with what I'm sure what was a terrifying look on my face and spat, through clenched teeth, "How. About. You. Say. 'Thank. You. For. Spending. All. Your. Money. To. Take. Me. Away. This. Weekend.' Instead. Of. Asking. For. More. THINGS."
Silence.
"Whatever," he muttered.
With that, my sunglasses went down, not to be lifted again until I was safely in the privacy of my own room.

The rest of the ride was punctuated with more complaints. I probably could have behaved better in response, but I was so hurt and angry that I just fed into his attitude.

"This car is so friggin' uncomfortable." Sigh. Sigh. Long drawn out sigh.
I am rather tall and had the seat pulled up so that my legs were squished in order that he might have more room. Not good enough? Fine. Why should I suffer? Upon this complaint, I shot my seat back so that I was comfortable, and asked, "Better?"

"Your iPod sucks."
I turned off the radio all together. (The ironic part is his iPod is mainly full of my music; they are basically one-in-the-same. Not to mention I let him download 10 new songs for the trip.)

"I'm starving. I don't want Subway for lunch. Find somewhere else to eat."
"Get in your car, take your money and find somewhere else to eat."
"I don't have any money and you know I can't drive."
"Then starve, I guess."
(He ended up getting Subway.)

When we got home (finally!), he refused to say thank you, even when his father insisted on it. He sat on the couch, telling the dog what a horrible weekend it was. He was being an asshole. Not just to me, but to his dad as well.When it was time to go back to mom's, he slipped out the door without even a goodbye.

Of course I still love The Kid. Of course I'll still do things for him. I'm not going to dwell on this experience as a benchmark of our relationship. But this weekend was an eye-opening experience. He has slipped into that hormonal void where nothing I, or his dad, or his mom, or his stepdad, do is good enough. His moods are all over the place, totally unpredictable. Sometimes he's still that sweet kid, but primarily he is a teenager.
Over the past few years, I've been so focused on meeting his needs that I've neglected my own. No more. I've laid a great foundation for our relationship, but it's time to take care of me. And clearly, bending over backwards to make him happy has only made him a spoiled little princess.
Time to buck up, buddy.
And time for me to have some fun!