And So It Begins

Last year, for The Kid's birthday, we took him Up North for a weekend. It was his first time Up North. We took him snowboarding and did lots of fun things. Since August, he has been asking if we were going to go Up North for his birthday again, and we promised we would.
We took him this past weekend. And this past weekend The Kid decided to start acting like a teenager. The Husband and I were so excited because we were surprising him with a really fun hotel, and some fun activities. Well, the normal 4 hour drive to get there took us more than 6. We got to the hotel very late on Friday night (because, on top of the traffic, getting the kid to put down his video game remote and leave the house was like pulling teeth).
The next morning, The Kid asked if we were going snowboarding. Last year, we brought him snowboarding for the first time. He hated it and ended up playing in the snow mounds in the parking lot for hours. I agreed to play with him while The Husband boarded for the afternoon. $300 wasted to play in a parking lot. So this year, I decided not to spend the money. Well, Mr. I'm13Now was pissed because he told all his friends he was going snowboarding and now he wasn't. He pitched a fit and insisted he liked boarding and wanted to go. I offered that he could use the birthday money we were giving him to buy a lift ticket and use his own money for rentals if he really wanted to board; he sulked and denied the offer.
He ended up having a mostly fun day Saturday and enjoying the surprise activities we had planned. But Sunday, folks, was a nightmare.
Our plan was to get a decent breakfast and begin the trek home, stopping at a few shops along the way (shops, mind you, that were of extreme interest to The Kid).
"I don't care if you're hungry. I don't want breakfast. Can't we just go home?" "Gimme your iPhone. I'm so friggin' bored I need something to do."
[at shop] "Here's the stuff I want you to buy me. I'll be waiting in the car." "Why did you drink that whole bottle of water if you knew we were driving? Now we have to stop just so you can pee. This is ridiculous."
Most of this I attributed to normal teenage behavior. Yes, it was annoying but not particularly out of character for a 13-year-old.
Until...
Until we stopped at a rest stop so The Husband could relieve himself. The Kid and I were waiting in the car and he was telling me how he couldn't wait to get home and play his video game.
"I want to get this modification for it as soon as we get home. Can I get it?" he asked.
"Depends. How much of your birthday money is left over?" I replied.
"$2.03" he answered. "But the mod is $8.00"
"Well, I used up all our extra money this weekend. I don't have enough money in that account for the mod. So I guess you can't get it."
"Well then you better go to the bank and put some money in so I can get it. I would have rather stayed home and played games than come here anyway," he said with the utmost I-am-entitled-to-whatever-I-want attitude.
Oh yes, he did. He demanded that I go deposit money into one of my bank account expressly for his entertainment.
This is about the time my head exploded. Or nearly. You see, to take him away for this weekend cost me nearly $1,000. And money is hard to come by in our house. My husband is not working, and this is not by choice. He does not receive unemployment. I'm trying to run a household on my (very average) salary alone. I took on a second part-time job to help out. I used every scrap of money I got for Christmas to pay for this weekend. I canceled dinner plans to save money. I put off buying myself a new pair of glasses (my prescription is out of date, but I hardly wear them so I figured I could wait). I really want a new camera lens, but I wanted our family to have this fun memory even more. I worked really hard not to let him down.
I tried not to get angry. I tried not to take it (too) personally. But I was fighting back tears. I really, truly went out of my way to make this weeknend happen. For him.
I whipped around, facing him with what I'm sure what was a terrifying look on my face and spat, through clenched teeth, "How. About. You. Say. 'Thank. You. For. Spending. All. Your. Money. To. Take. Me. Away. This. Weekend.' Instead. Of. Asking. For. More. THINGS."
Silence.
"Whatever," he muttered.
With that, my sunglasses went down, not to be lifted again until I was safely in the privacy of my own room.

The rest of the ride was punctuated with more complaints. I probably could have behaved better in response, but I was so hurt and angry that I just fed into his attitude.

"This car is so friggin' uncomfortable." Sigh. Sigh. Long drawn out sigh.
I am rather tall and had the seat pulled up so that my legs were squished in order that he might have more room. Not good enough? Fine. Why should I suffer? Upon this complaint, I shot my seat back so that I was comfortable, and asked, "Better?"

"Your iPod sucks."
I turned off the radio all together. (The ironic part is his iPod is mainly full of my music; they are basically one-in-the-same. Not to mention I let him download 10 new songs for the trip.)

"I'm starving. I don't want Subway for lunch. Find somewhere else to eat."
"Get in your car, take your money and find somewhere else to eat."
"I don't have any money and you know I can't drive."
"Then starve, I guess."
(He ended up getting Subway.)

When we got home (finally!), he refused to say thank you, even when his father insisted on it. He sat on the couch, telling the dog what a horrible weekend it was. He was being an asshole. Not just to me, but to his dad as well.When it was time to go back to mom's, he slipped out the door without even a goodbye.

Of course I still love The Kid. Of course I'll still do things for him. I'm not going to dwell on this experience as a benchmark of our relationship. But this weekend was an eye-opening experience. He has slipped into that hormonal void where nothing I, or his dad, or his mom, or his stepdad, do is good enough. His moods are all over the place, totally unpredictable. Sometimes he's still that sweet kid, but primarily he is a teenager.
Over the past few years, I've been so focused on meeting his needs that I've neglected my own. No more. I've laid a great foundation for our relationship, but it's time to take care of me. And clearly, bending over backwards to make him happy has only made him a spoiled little princess.
Time to buck up, buddy.
And time for me to have some fun!