This story was on NPR today. Brief, sugar coated and tied up with a bow.
Overall the message is positive, but I tend to think one of the only reasons this story worked out so nicely is because her husband's first wife was dead.
What do you think?
Overall the message is positive, but I tend to think one of the only reasons this story worked out so nicely is because her husband's first wife was dead.
What do you think?
8 comments:
The fact that he was a widower can't have hurt at all!
I would have to agree... Nice story, but not all of us are in a situation where we don't have a BM to deal with. That was probably a big factor, being that when they met, Dad's very RARELY got full custody.
It's funny that she never mentioned Mona's relationship with her biological father.
Having been married to a widower before, I know it's hard to replace a ghost. She must have faced her own challenges stepping into the "Mom" role and being compared to the deceased mom. Having no BM to interfere probably made the transition smoother.
I think the fact that he was a widower probably did make things easier but I'm sure they still had problems. I am step mom to my daughter who was just over 1 when her mom died. I stepped into her life just a few months later (her mom and my now-husband had been seperated for 9 months and my husband had full custody when she passed ). In our daily life, I am just her "mom", no "step" about it. And in many ways my life is much easier since I don't have a BM to deal with but in others it is harder to replace a ghost as another commenter mentioned. At this age (she's 7) we don't have many problems but I can imagine as she gets older I will be compared to what she thinks would have been the perfect mother if she hadn't died.
BTW: I am a first time commenter but have been lurking for a while and greatly enjoy your blog.
I'm sure they had their own set of problems too but I think time has been their best friend. She met him in the 1960s and is writing about it in 2010 - we may be getting the glossy version of the story.
I keep holding on to the dream of SD graduating high school, college or getting married and for ALL of us being able to partake in her happiness as one family! Not quite there yet but one day....maybe.
@ Terri - Hi! Thanks for commenting.
I agree with you all, there are problems that I wouldn't even begin to comprehend. I think my issue with the story is how they make it so shiny and happy. With stepmoms in the media, it's either like this or the sm is a psycho killer. I wish there were more interpretations out there for the public to soak up.
Not only no BM, but the fact that they were married in an era when I suspect there was less indulgent, guilt-ridden helicopter parenting and dads were probably less inclined to be permissive to start with.
I actually find that aspect of being a stepmother even more difficult than coping with the ex - my partner's overwhelming guilt and how that impacts on his parenting (AND his dealings with the ex).
I think that it would be easier to be a stepmom without a nutty bm yammering in the background. It would be hard to compete with a ghost, but at least the ghost isn't putting in her 2 cents all the damn time.
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