By Any Other Name

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose/ By any other name would smell as sweet." -Juliet Capulet

I was thinking today about how The Ex changed The Kid's last name. When my husband showed up to the court room on that day, she said, "We're his family. He's taking our last name."
The Husband, not wanting to fight anymore, allowed his son to change his name. Then spent the night in my arms, feeling robbed of something he couldn't quite put his finger on.
When The Kid was born, The Ex lived with her parents. They refused to let the new baby have his father's name, threatening to revoke all support. After they were married, when The Kid was 2, his name was changed again to reflect the new family name. Then, when he was 9 it was changed again, back to his mother's maiden name. Talk about confusing.
Last week, The Ex changed her name on Facebook to what will be her new married name, when she gets married next year. I'm not sure why she changed it so soon. But this leaves The Kid floating in a very strange place. His mom is moving on, and quite quickly. She's already using her new name. His grandparents, who share his last name, have been going through a divorce for the past several months (I haven't blogged about this because I truly feel it is none of my business, but the fact is relevant here). He is angry at them, and hasn''t spoken to his grandfather, the patriarch, in nearly a year.
We have a fairly unusual last name. Yesterday, The Kid said to me, "There's only three of us in the whole world. Me, you and dad." He's been writing his name using his father's last name on his schoolwork. He refers to himself as The Kid Dadslastname. Although he talks about changing his name back all the time, he's scared to initiate the change. I'm guessing there's some loyalty issues there. And there's the issue of the kids at school questioning all these changes.
And The Husband is nervous to initiate the change as his ex can be batshit crazy at times. What will the backlash be? Are we going to end up back in court? Is the relative peace of the past year going to be blown away?
He's trying to just let things happen organically, but let's face it: all of these changes The Kid has been through haven't been very organic. The Husband's not sure what to do; all he does know is that he needs to do what is best for The Kid.

And, on a somewhat related note, here's a little story about the irony of the name change ordeal:
I'm certain that The Ex changed The Kid's name for two main reasons: 1.) To hurt her ex, and 2.) to ensure that everyone knew The Kid was hers and not mine (or any other partner the Then Boyfriend might acquire). Well, this past winter we went away for a few long weekends. And all the hotels asked for the name of all guests staying in the room, not just the person who made the reservation. At each and every hotel we stayed at, the concierge assumed that the child was mine and not The Husband's. Since we share a name, and he has a different last name. The same thing happened at several activities we did while away. I was always quick to correct them and dispel any awkwardness The Kid might feel. But in my head, I was saying, "Ha. Hahahahahaha! Fail!" to The Ex. (There's always a bit of gratification in seeing her best laid plans backfire...)