I have a little confession to make. I am a Facebook stalker. There. I said it. It's off my chest. And I'm a little embarrassed about it.
Fact is, some people are complete morons about Facebook's privacy settings (not that FB makes it easy...). Two of these said people are The Ex and Future Stepdad. I try, try, try not to look at their profiles, but the part of me that wants so badly to protect my family does click on them every once in a while. The rule I made in my head is: once a month I'm allowed to stalk (any more than twice a month is obsessive, according to moi). After all, they are the ones who didn't privatize their pages.
Well last night was my designated once-a-month stalk session. I don't click on pictures or anything, I just look for things like, "I'm pregnant!"or "I'm getting committed to the crazy ward of Local Hospital!." Nothing caught my eye on The Ex's page, so I clicked on Future Stepdad's page.
Remember how I've struggled with some jealousy over Future Stepdad's easy transition into the family? And Sharon reminded me he will have a long journey himself, with or without a spiteful ex. Then I started to recognize some of his struggles?
As his page loaded I noticed The Kid had written all over it.
Now, The Kid hardly ever uses FB. He will log on maybe once every month or so. I know he was on a few days ago because he wrote all over my page, generally song lyrics and answers to those silly "Social Interview" questions. Well, on Future Stepdad's page he had written some questionable things. In two separate posts, he called FS a "bitch" (The Kid is not allowed to swear in our house unless he's having a total meltdown and it just slips out). And in one post he called FS a "faggot," language that, once again, is intolerable and punishable in our house. This was all, seemingly, unprompted.
I don't know if they run around their house calling each other these words, laughing and giggling all the way. Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if they did. Or maybe it's a private joke that they have. But from my "stalker's" view, it seemed very negative. And I actually felt bad for FS.
I did notice that one of the posts, the one that seemed the most outright mean, has since been deleted, hopefully on The Ex's prompting.
Future Stepdad is coming into The Kid's life at a very weird time for The Kid. His hormones are CRAZY (to say the least) and he's struggling with school and his peers. He's a (mostly) normal teenager with insane mood swings and teen angst. And a new stepdad whose presence makes his mom a completely different person. The Ex is obsessed with babies and starting over with a "new family." The other day, he tearfully apologized for being born. It broke my heart (literally, I had to go upstairs to my room with a box of tissues...no child should ever feel that).
Apparently, Future Stepdad is taking the blame for all of these feelings, and The Kid is lashing out at him.
Welcome to stepfamily life, Future Stepdad. Welcome (insert evil laugh).
11 comments:
Ouch. Poor FS is going to have a hard time.
Not so jealous anymore, are you? :)
@ Sharon - Not. At. All. :)
I need to abide by your FB stalking regulations. I admit that I go on the BM's FB about 1x/ week. We would find out when she would pawn SD off on other people so she could go out and party. Now that we have SD alot more, I go on there for pure entertainment. I know I know, I need to get a life! But her stupidity brings me so much laughter. My Name is Step-Mama and I am a FB stalker.
My name is Life of a Stepmama and I too am a FB stalker. I seem to the be worst though. I probably do it once a week sometimes more. PEG has her page completely private, but I view hew friend list and try to see who she writes stuff too etc. Some of her good friend have open pages so I view stupid pictures or comments and save just incase I ever need them. Over time a few have gone private and I have to admit it makes me happy because I know that is the only way I will stop looking. Hubbs has her completely blocked from him, I did but took off the block once I realized I couldnt facebook stalk her anymore. I know its completely stupid and I shouldn't do it, but part of me likes trying to see what she is up to. I look at it less now than I used to, thank goodness.
I don't blame or judge you one bit! I only wish PEG and her boyfriend could be so stupid!
BM has her page set to private, so I can only see what she says if she talks to my Hubby. However, I do stalk through my Hubby's page sometimes. This is how we have caught her in several lies. Like when she said she had to work,couldn't find a babysitter and we HAD to watch the Kid or else she would leave him home alone... and she really went to NYC with friends to see a baseball game.
I wish my SD's stepdad had had a rough time.. unfortunately, he's Mr Wonderful Dad come to save the day, after BM convinced SD's that hubby had abanonded them for me & my kids.. so not true, but they believe it... anyway
I think it's comforting to know that we're not the only parent struggling to "fit in"... even if we find out by "stalking" ;)
I am also a Facebook stalker, way more than once per month; although it is my kids & stepkids pages that I stalk (some of whom are adults, in chronological age, not maturity). I have found out some things that I really didn't want to know......but I have also gotten some information that I needed and would not have known otherwise.
I blocked the Boys' Mum in both directions - I can't search her and she can't search me.
Works perfectly at helping me stay sane...
That is so sad that a kid would apologize for being born.
I am a horrible FB stalker. Not the BM anymore because she took down her page after my husband said something to her about things she was letting the boys do at her house.
I was glad she took it down if she wasn't going to have the good sense to keep the whole world from seeing what goes on at her house.
It also lead to the most awkward conversation I've had yet with SS.
Given the BM's tendencies to stalk me on blogs, forums, and in person, I have all the privacy settings possible on my facebook account :)
I used to do this too....
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