I couldn't resist. Tuesday night, when those big hazel eyes looked up at me and exclaimed, "I just got a Facebook! Do you have a Facebook? Will you be my friend?!" I just couldn't say, "No, kid. I can't be your friend because even though I love you your mom is a nosy twat and will use your Facebook for recon missions." I couldn't do it. I am such a sucker.
So I took a deep breath and said, "Well I hardly ever check my Facebook." [lie]
"Oh, well next time you check it answer my friend request. I requested you!"
"Oh. No kidding. I didn't even know." [lie]
I let that friend request sit in there, glaring at me, for a few more days. I reviewed the comments y'all left for me. I thought about it.
I don't have anything compromising on Facebook. But I know The Ex was dying to see our wedding photos (of which I have about 5 on my profile)...to the degree of checking FB obsessively for weeks to see if I changed my profile pic (which I didn't...). It's childish but I just don't want her to have access to any part of my life other than what she hears from The Kid. None. Of. Her. Business. And I especially didn't want her putting him in uncomfortable situation so she can poke around on my profile.
So I created a Limited Profile friend list (thanks Lori G.!), which I didn't even know I could do, and I blocked that list from seeing my photos and, well, pretty much everything else. I'm hoping once she sees that there's nothing to see she won't bug The Kid about it. Anyone have a limited access friend list and have any feedback on how well it works? Does the security ever lapse?
Now I sit and wait, and hope that Mean Stepmom was right and he's just trying to build up his friend list (a whopping 12 now!) and once he realizes his Facebook is supervised, off the friends list I go!
However, at that point I may want to stay on for my own recon missions....
Thanks for all your help!!!
14 comments:
Let us know how this works out. I'm trying to figure out just how you did it. :)
I've got to figure that out!
My sis inlaw just decided to befriend the devil, along with my mom inlaw, it's not like I can get away with deleting them from my friends.. the devil just wants to pump them for info.. obvious to anyone with a brain, but they have bought it hook, line & sinker...
So if you wouldn't mind letting us know how well that works for you...
Thanks!
I hope this strategy works for you!!
My BM and I are actually friends on FB so the whole FB thing is not something too agonizing for me. I hemmed and hawed about it at first, but then thought that I'm not doing anything that's secret when it comes certain things.
And I have NO idea if my exhusband or his wife check out what I post and I really don't care if they do but I'd really wish FB would quit recommending either of them to me as potential "friends..." LOL
My oldest step-son is a friend of mine on facebook. I really didn't think too much about it, but I also don't have a terrible relationship with the BM. Not that we are best friends and have slumber parties and braid each other's hair, but we're not arch enemies either. So that's good. Plus I like to check up on the skiddo from time to time to see what's going on and what he has posted.
I just learned about the limited profile thingy myself, and might have to test it out on certain "friends" ;)
Have a great weekend!!
You might want to double check your photo privacy settings. The FB default settings let anyone see them if someone makes a comment on them. If your SS writes "Hey I like that lampshade on your head. And is the the Mambo or the Salsa you are doing?" then she will be able to see it. You have to go in and set the privacy settings yourself. Good luck! - G
@Peggy I hear ya about the "potential friends"...it always seems to suggest people I'm trying to avoid!
@brandi nearly fell out of my chair with the slumber party/hair braiding comment!
@Georgina thanks for the warning! I did much research before accepting him - photo privacy was enabled looooooong before the kid knew what fb was and he can't see any photos, so he can't make any comments. He can't even write on my wall...
But, I do have pretty stellar lampshade-accessorizing prowess ;)
This is a great post..and your convo regarding FB with the kid is one I have had too..Oh, you sent me a friend request? I didnt know..from the horrible neighbor and a busybody coworker.
You have every right to limit who sees what...
It sounds as if you've got it all in hand with a great plan. I hope it works out.
Our BM stalked my profile page to. I made it private so now she's taken to trying to befriend everyone in my husbands family instead. Ummm... "Move On!!"
I hope I'm never such a desperado if I'm ever in her situation.
LBM xxx
I didn't even think to suggest the 'limited' option! Good thinking! Let us know how it works, would you? I've never tried it myself.
He he. Facebook recently "auto-suggested" my partner's ex as a possible friend for me! I've got no idea how that worked out the connection, since we have no friends in common... Spooky.
Anyway, I promptly clicked the corner cross to delete the suggestion, and hope that the FB genies have got the idea!
Wonder if FB has suggested me as a friend for her?
I didn't know this was even possible.
Before allowing my SS his on FB account, we changed all of our privacy settings and I make sure all photos are only published "to friends" not "friends of friends."
Although my SS's Mom isn't intelligent to use FB, her sisters are.
Thanks for the heads-up on this!!
I had both the girls on a limited profile list. Lilybelle is no longer on my friend's list but Marigold remains on that list. Narcissus uses the girls' facebooks to spy on me, Jonquil and Aunty Sane. Marigold doesn't even seem to notice that she can't see my status or some of my pictures.
Yeah, I deleted my two step-daughters off my FB & MySp too, just can't have it anymore. Their mom doesn't work & I've seen her make comments on EVERYONE's walls, so I know she's been checking our pics out. Heck, she's sending my husband love notes & they've been DV'd for 25 years! Can't be their friend on these sites right now, not while that "Old Mind" is horny for my man.
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